Saturday, April 2, 2016

B IS FOR BATHROOMS

     Yes, I know that nobody in the 21st century believes that we invented bathrooms.  But I'm begging for a little leeway here, because bathrooms are such a fabulously gross topic that I feel I have no choice but to include them.  Not to mention that bungee-jumping really hadn't become a thing yet in the 1500's, so my "B" choices were limited. 
     No 16th-century houses contained what you or I might recognize as "bathrooms" - places to get yourself cleaned up as well as cleaned out (sorry).  But unless you were royalty (and sometimes not even then), cleanliness wasn't exactly a top priority for people.  In fact, most people were convinced that bathing was actually bad for one's health, in that it opened the pores and thus allowed all the nasty stuff floating in the air to gain entry into one's body.  You've heard the term "the great unwashed?"  Commoners who washed their hands and faces on a fairly regular basis, but bathed once or twice a year, felt pretty righteous about their personal hygiene.  For the most part, royals bathed more frequently, but they didn't need a special room for that purpose.  Anything that kings or queens, or other very rich people, wanted while anywhere in their homes, including bathtubs, turned out to be amazingly portable.  But some royals didn't take advantage of this perk.  James VI of Scotland was notorious for his filth, and for not changing his clothes for months on end.


     The question arises: if most people hardly ever washed, didn't they stink?  Duh.  Of course they did.  Everyone in the Middle Ages was just used to it.  Wealthy people sometimes doused themselves in perfumes to try to mask their natural odors, but it's probably debatable how much of an improvement that represented.  You know the word "nosegay," which nowadays just denotes a small bouquet of flowers?  Back in the day, members of the upper classes would carry nosegays around with them wherever they went so they could bury their noses in them when the ambient body odors got too overwhelming.  That was how they kept their nose gay (in the sense of happy).  Get it?
     But no doubt there were those who, through no fault of their own, just stank more than others.  This seems to have been the case with poor Anne of Cleves.  Henry VIII of England chose her as Wife #4 based just on a photograph, and was terribly dismayed when she arrived from Germany to meet him in person.  He could reportedly never bring himself to consummate their marriage, which ended in divorce six months later.  Luckily for her, he apparently didn't consider body odor, no matter how extreme, to be a capital offense, and she spent the rest of her life in comfort, choosing never to return from England to Germany.
     Unlike bathing, excretion - the other reason to have bathrooms - is unavoidable, and so some kind of arrangements had to be made. Actually, on the subject of excretion, the poorest classes had the biggest bathrooms, otherwise known as the great outdoors.  But this convenience did not usually equate to comfort, especially in the winter.  Nonetheless, indoor bathrooms wouldn't become commonplace in Europe for several hundred more years.  (I'm focusing on Europe in this post out of necessity.  I could find very little information about toilet habits in other cultures.)
     For centuries preceding the 16th, middle-class people had used chamber pots in their homes so they wouldn't have to go outside to relieve themselves.  They would either just crouch directly over the pots, or (in a slightly fancier version) sit on a piece of furniture known as a close stool - designed to look like an ordinary chair, but with a top seat that lifted up to reveal a hole in the middle of a second seat, positioned over a concealed chamber pot.  So classy. 


     But either way, the chamber pots had to be frequently emptied by servants, and where were the contents dumped?  Directly into the streets and gutters, of course!   I'll spare you further details about this practice, other than to say that by the 1400s, walking in the streets of any European city was a very hazardous and noxious exercise, to say the least.
     To address this increasingly horrifying public health problem, in the 16th century city home-owners began hiring workmen to dig cesspools near their houses so that at least the waste could be stored away from the streets.  Chamber pots began to be replaced by crude indoor toilets known as jakes or garderobes (basically a slab of wood with a hole in the middle, positioned over a pit), which were connected to the cesspools by a series of pipes.


      I regret to inform you, though, that in castles the pipes frequently emptied directly into the surrounding moats.  At least the cesspools got shoveled out from time to time.  The moats, not so much.
     Some garderobes didn't bother with pipes.  They simply jutted out from the exterior side of a wall, like so:


     Um, that's a gaping hole on the bottom.  Yep.  Exactly.  Look out below.
     Of course, the royals had their close stools brought to them whenever and wherever they felt like, and they had servants wipe their butts for them with sponges attached to the end of a stick.  Do you think I'm lying about all this?  Go look it up!  "Groom of the King's Close Stool" was a coveted position at court, involving carrying the extremely fancy stool around all day for whenever the need arose, and then standing by while it was being used.

 
 
     You might think this job was considered demeaning.  Shows how much you know about monarchies!  No, only well-born gentlemen got the assignment of the Groom of the Stool.  Seems that it was the proximity to the monarch, not the actual tasks performed, that mattered.
     And if all of this brings you a newfound appreciation of indoor plumbing, my work here is done.


39 comments:

  1. I had the privilege of touring the Versailles of Louis XIV and he also had a bathroom. It was an interesting tour.
    Shalom,
    Patricia @ EverythingMustChange

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    1. I did not know that Louis XIV had a bathroom at Versailles! Bu then, he lived in the 17th-18th centuries, so I guess plumbing had improved by then...

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  2. The Europeans were truly disgusting when it comes to personal hygiene. They could have learned something from the Romans and their sewage system. I can't help but think about Queen Elizabeth's lack of personal cleanliness and "The Miller's Tale" when reading this. I recently visited Hawaii and learned that Iolani Palace had indoor plumbing before the White House. Glenda from
    Evolving English Teacher

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    1. Glenda: yes, the Romans were wise to have public baths to make it easy for everyone to stay clean. Sadly, progress is not always linear!

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  3. Yuck! Bathrooms are definitely a modern convenience I appreciate, particularly after having been camping. Using a latrine or finding a private place to pee in the woods is not for me.

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  4. Wow... I mean... ewww.... :D Can you imagine? "Son, I have secured a very prestigious position for you at court! You'll be in the King's presence all the time! The bad news is..."

    @TarkabarkaHolgy from
    The Multicolored Diary
    MopDog

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    1. Yeah, it would definitely be a good news/bad news kind of situation! "Wow, thanks, Dad! But why don't YOU take the job so I can watch and learn?"

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  5. You know? I already knew all of this, but finding it all in one place is... kind of... disconcerning?
    But I still find human's beaviour in different times to be fascinating ;-)
    This is really a good post.

    @JazzFeathers
    The Old Shelter - Jazz Age Jazz

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  6. You know? I already knew all of this, but finding it all in one place is... kind of... disconcerning?
    But I still find human's beaviour in different times to be fascinating ;-)
    This is really a good post.

    @JazzFeathers
    The Old Shelter - Jazz Age Jazz

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    1. Sorry, Sarah! To the best of my knowledge, this is my first and last revolting A to Z post for 2016, if that helps any!

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  7. That was an interesting history lesson. o.O

    ~Patricia Lynne aka Patricia Josephine~
    Story Dam
    Patricia Lynne, Indie Author

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  8. You would have made a great history teacher!

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    1. Thanks, Roland! The funny thing is, I was a terrible history student in high school. I hated memorizing dates of battles, names of rulers, blah blah blah... It wasn't until I was out of college that I discovered the kind of history that tells about LIFE, and I've been hooked ever since!

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    2. I feel exactly the same way! I hated history in school. So boring. Just dates to memorize. It wasn't until I started traveling in my 20s that I became fascinated with history. Thanks for this awesome (and hilarious and disgusting) post!

      @HeatherJacksonW from
      WriteOnSisters - Masterplots from A to Z

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  9. Oh my, the germs! Loved the bit about nosegays.

    Yvonne

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    1. Yvonne: not gonna lie. Germs were a big problem. I'll admit that we've made progress in SOME areas over the last 500 years!

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  10. OMG! I knew all this but to read about it all in one place is just, well, stink worthy. Horrid, I can't even imagine how anyone would want to be close to anyone else. It's amazing children were even conceived or that they lived. GROSS! Still, great post, truly!

    Happy Second Day of the A to Z!
    Ninga Minion @YolandaRenee from
    Defending The Pen
    Parallels
    Murderous Imaginings

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    1. Thanks, Yolanda. Yes, infant mortality rates were very high, and even higher for women giving birth - not so much from the process itself, but from the huge risk of infection afterwards. I'm done with the stinky posts though! You can come back here again this month, I promise!

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  11. Hmmmm...I kind of knew that, but to have to think about it in um graphic terms in one shot.. ewww. Agree thoroughly with Yolanda's comment, can't imagine anybody even wanting to get within ten feet of anyone else. Great job with both A and B! Thoroughly enjoyed the stinkiness of this one, if enjoyed is the right word to use.

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    1. Nila: I would say I didn't mean to gross you out, but I'd be lying. I totally meant to gross people out!

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  12. Hello from A to Z. I'm a new follower. This is an interesting piece of history. Yes, I'm very appreciative of functioning indoor plumbing in our era.

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    1. Hey Cynthia! I completely agree. Indoor plumbing is probably the primary reason why I don't want to move into the 16th century! Thanks for visiting.

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  13. I'm one of those people who, even when she goes camping, like to have somewhere with indoor plumbing. It one of the reasons the idea of time travel has never, ever appealed ... well unless it was only for an hour or so ;)
    Tasha
    Tasha's Thinkings | Wittegen Press | FB3X (AC)

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    1. I'm with you, Natasha. I haven't camped in years, but when I did, toilets (even port-a-potties) and showers were a must.

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  14. This is definitely one aspect of the era I change in my own worlds. People might still have kings and live in castles, but they mostly have proper plumbing(thanks magic) and therefore bathe pretty frequently. At least, a lot more frequently than once or twice a year!

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    1. Personally, I'm a big fan of plumbing. And if you're making your own world, why not include it? Thanks for visiting!

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  15. very interesting history, some might think it's gross but I think it helps keep us appreciative of what we have. ;-)

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    1. Jill: wow, that wasn't gross enough for you? You're a tough crowd!!

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  16. Fascinating information, and to think we sometimes feel inferior to the "grander" of times. Great blog, I hope you have fun with the challenge.
    @ScarlettBraden from
    Frankly Scarlett

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    1. Thanks, Scarlett! Best wishes to you in the Challenge too!

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  17. I can't imagine how much fun you had researching this.

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    1. Oh, Nate, don't be modest! I'm sure you can imagine EXACTLY how much fun your weirdo mother had doing her research!! XXXX

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  18. All I can say after reading this is I am glad I was born when I was born. I can't imagine not having the "creature comforts" like we do these days. I can't imagine the unpleasant odors that would come from one's body!

    thanks for visiting :)

    betty

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    1. Thanks for visiting, Betty! I do think it's true that you can get used to anything after long enough.

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  19. Hah. This is perfect. Definitely something everyone thinks about but never talks about. XD

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  20. This was a fascinating post. It's so easy to take indoor, modern plumbing for granted, but that wasn't so through much of history. I'm told the Jewish bathroom blessing, said after relieving oneself, was created in part because visiting the "bathroom" in antiquity really was a dangerous experience, with scorpions, snakes, and other creatures lurking about those large outdoor spaces with an ancient version of a toilet.

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    1. That does make sense, doesn't it? Thanks for your visit and comment.

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  21. Gross but great post Susan. Amazingly, The Indus Valley civilization of Pakistan and northwestern India flourished from 2600-1900 BCE. Harappa, Lothal, and Mohenjo-daro are three of the extensive archeological excavations in the region. They are noted for sophisticated public works that included sewage drainage systems, public wells, and private and public baths. If you are interested you can check more here http://www.sewerhistory.org/grfx/wh_region/indus1.htm

    thanks for the post on an unusual topic


    @mysilverstreaks from
    Storiesandmore

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  22. That's fascinating, Dhalia! And thank you so much for the link!! If I'm interested? Are you kidding? Sewer history? Count me in!!!

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