Monday, February 2, 2015


     Last night the Superbowl was played, although you probably missed it because it never gets much hype.  Today, though, you just couldn't get away from the Children's Book Awards announcements, am I right?  I mean, I love children's books as much as the next guy, but doesn't there have to be a limit somewhere?
     Anyway.  Tonight for my own amusement, and possibly even for yours, I drew up my own handy little compare/contrast chart for these two notable events and their respective fields of endeavor:

1. FOOTBALL: Everyone in America knows who won the Superbowl last night. 
    CBA: People in the industry know who won the CBAs today.                    

2. FOOTBALL: Football players have uniforms.
    CBA: CB authors have sweatpants for the formal occasions when they need to change out of their pajamas.                     

3. FOOTBALL: Celebrities in other fields don't get to play on NFL teams just because they
think it would be fun to try their hands at pro football.
   CBA: Enough said.

4. FOOTBALL: Physical strength and agility tend to carry the day.
    CBA: Physical strength and agility tend to arouse suspicion.                        

 5. FOOTBALL: There is an off-season.
     CBA: [hysterical laughter]                           

6. FOOTBALL: football players work really hard.                
    CBA: CB authors work really hard.

7. FOOTBALL: Professional players and coaches earn millions of dollars a year.
    CBA: Except for a tiny fraction of the most successful, professional CB authors don't earn enough
  money to live on.

8. FOOTBALL: Women exist solely as decorative objects.
    CBA: In CB writing and publishing, women exist at the top of every category.

9. FOOTBALL: People from every walk of life identify with their hometown teams.                    
    CBA:  Non-authors don't identify with authors, no  matter where they live. But sometimes magic
 occurs, and readers identify with characters who don't live anywhere except within the pages of
 a book.  And that makes it all worth it.

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